Saturday, September 25, 2010

In my headphones today


kiMi67 | MySpace Video

Random musings - September 25, 2010

Whoa! I wish someone could do this for a birthday or my wedding relatively soon. Please. ;)

Cameras are way too cool now a days.


I want to reply to Sensei. I have to reply.

This is a greater description of a previous post. Let me rewind.

On April 29, 2010, I reached Japan for the first time in two years. The very next day, I went to Shinanomachi. On behalf of my family, the YMD of Rocky Mountain Zone, and the youth members in my area, I went to Shinanomachi to present sensei with gifts. April 30: a day that now will signify the next step in my life.

But, nothing could be more touching then what happened this past Sunday.

In April, I presented Sensei with my journal, recording about a year's worth of thoughts, observations and ultimately my own commitment to advancing kosen-rufu. Specifically, I shared my own reflections on critical events--events since returning to Colorado which I believe indicate a traversing of my life's fulcrum and Rubicon--such as, but not limited to my pay cut, and subsequent layoff 7 months later, my obaachan's heart attack, a (still) difficult break-up, challenging my efforts toward July 2010, and preparing for my trip to Japan. This past Sunday, Sensei responded with a message in regards to my journal. He wrote:

"Thank you very much!  Please accept my warmest regards."

What almost everyone doesn't know is that this past Sunday signifies my obaachan's one year struggle of a heart attack (at the age of 84, now 85). Last year, on Saturday, September 19, my grandma was complaining of intense pain in her shoulder, and right before I departed for a wedding reception, I was massaging that very spot. After a few hours, I learned that that pain developed into labored breathing and subsequently she was admitted into the ER. From there, she went to the ICU, where she should have passed away. Instead she fought through it all.

Now, with Sensei's message on Sunday, to have him respond on the very day that marks one year since my obaachan's heart attack meant so much to me. It does not matter if he did it on purpose or if it was the work of the Mystic Law, it was a result of the causes I've made, my family has made since that time. My obaachan is battling her own demons, but in the end, I will cheer her on to victory.

Along with my journal, on behalf of the youth division of Wycoda Area, I presented Sensei with a youth division flag. He responded to that with a different message for everyone:

"Thank you very much. I have seen your flag. Please convey my warmest regards to everyone."



Sunday night, I sent Sensei with a thank you memo. After his words, I had to. I could not hold in the tears for his genuine care for my family, and me. 

So, now, I am left here, contemplating my next step. Whatever I do, I cannot go with the flow of the times. Rather, I must advance beyond, adding to the flow with a surge of force felt 10,000 miles downstream.

Autumn is upon us - Sept. 21, 2010 ( I was in the passenger seat. Don't worry)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Big Bang Theory - Season 4, Episode 1

So, aside from the comedy the ensues on tonight's season opener of "The Big Bang Theory", the unmentioned, yet uncomfortable setting between Penny and Leonard reminded me of one fact: the common occurrence of the awkward atmosphere past a relationship. To those who can find a way to make a post-relationship work into a friendship with no awkward intentions, thoughts, action, inaction and ultimately a malice-less friendship, I find that a remarkable quality to have. It's difficult to be in that situation. I praise those of you who can succeed at doing such.

Monday, September 20, 2010

A happy birthday

First and foremost, a happy birthday to Mar! Mar, I hope you had an excellent birthday.

Second of all, today marks exactly one year since my grandmother suffered her heart attack. Since then, my obaachan had her own highs and lows. In the duration of the 2010 summer, my family easily read her fears, anxiety and depression on her face and in her expressions and mannerisms. But, inside, I know there is a youthful obaachan--one not bound by the limitations set by her own mind. I want to see it again.

And beyond that, I was supremely humbled by sensei's encouragement. Today, coincidentally on my obaachan's anniversary of her heart attack, sensei sent me two messages for gifts I gave back in April, while I was in Japan. The mystic law works in marvelous ways!

He wrote to me, on presenting my journal to him:

"Thank you very much!  Please accept my warmest regards."

And on presenting an area flag to him, he responded:

"Thank you very much. I have seen your flag. Please convey my warmest regards to everyone."

There could not have been a better time to receive this from sensei! Thank you!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Life as of recent

Good evening to all, my friends.

Life has been understandably difficult for all. Since the culture festival in Chicago in July, I'm becoming slower and slower in my life it seems. Many a time, I feel as if my life is a car, brakes screeching on a solid sheet of ice, while spinning 360 after 360. Then, I get a hold of myself for a lone moment, and entering a spin in the other direction. I have found myself harboring attitudes I haven't had since high school, which are probably not the best for my emotional health. Yet, I know that I must endure, because I have been challenging my life sincerely, for the first time. Work. Study. Soka Group. YMD Area. Though these bullet points may be short, they carry loaded emotions, responsibilities and desires. Satisfaction is what I desire from all of these.

To a difficult life. A toast. Cheers and congratulations!

If you are the jester, I must be the mime.